"My ma said that of all the bonds that exist between people, perhaps the sweetest is the bond of friendship. For it is borne not out of duty or blood ties, but out of sheer delight in another. How hard it must be to be friendless in an hour of need. How bitter to be alone at the moment of reckoning. And yet for some, it was friendship itself, the sharing of our deepest truths and the trust in another's goodwill towards us, that was the hardest path of all." -Lark Rise to Candleford
Lark Rise to Candleford has captured my attention. (I thought I'd explain the origin of the above quote before I move on to the subject at hand.) I've mostly given up TV (mostly) and I've been discouraged by the content of most movies. But, this show is an overall good-natured, pleasantly appropriate and beautiful piece of art. It is like a movie that goes for as long as you desire.....except, it does end, for I am almost through the third season and only four were made. :-( I sometimes watch it while listing books on Amazon or simply as a nice break from all that is life. :-) After weeks of focus on other things, I revisited this show a few days ago. There are so many life lessons and wisdom. I'm kind of impressed, actually. Of course, the characters can be rather stupid at times, but, who of us isn't now and then? :)
"The sharing of our deepest truths and the trust in another's goodwill toward us." That can be difficult indeed. What is hardest for me, sometimes, is wishing I could show a friend that they can trust me, that I would not crush them if vulnerability was the road pursued--and that, if I did crush them, it would shatter my own heart. But often, the best we can do is continue being a friend from the deepest places of our hearts, even it feels one-sided at times. Let us not become weary in well-doing. Perhaps the most painful part is realizing that there may never be a harvest we can see with our own eyes---yet, that does not mean it is not there. It is easily wounding to have love and deep understanding bubbling up inside, overflowing from the wellspring of our hearts, and feel limited by the rejection or lack of recognition by another. And yet, there are those of us who must love, for it is an extension of our very selves. It matters not if anyone responds, however painful; we have to continue to be who we are--through a note, an act of service, a smile, a word of affirmation or encouragement.
Recently I have endeavored to reach out to others, even if the fear of rejection is sporting a STOP sign. Sometimes I send an email or a text and I think, "What if he/she thinks this is lame and/or is annoyed by it?" I realized that is not the right focus. If my heart is really only to be a friend during these times and love to the fullest, then that is where my attention needs to be. I've released a lot recently in that area. Sometimes, I send these messages and get a positive response. Sometimes, it's radio silent. I've had to realize that it isn't for me to feel unloved or unappreciated because of that; that is not God voice speaking in those moments of doubt. This may sound like a silly thing, but upon examination, I see the magnitude. It can be applied to anything. The recipient might answer back with "Oh, thanks! I really appreciate that. You are so thoughtful!" Or there might be nothing. I'm learning to be OK with the second outcome and move on (my head and heart can jump to such unfounded conclusions). Funny how, when I examine my heart and motives carefully, I can see how the need for affirmation and vanity creep in when I start to focus on myself instead of others. Pretty ridiculous, eh? :-)
"The sweetest friendships of all are the unlikeliest. But they are founded on something even more precious than delight; they are founded on nothing less than the complete and perfect acceptance of one by another. " -LRtoC
Thank you, friends, who have shown me that complete and perfect acceptance; it is a rare treasure and you have no idea what it is has meant. :-)
